I love this definition that the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day-saints gives on what a Camp is:
Camp is an outdoor experience for young women ages 12 to 18. It gives young women opportunities to:
Feel the influence of the Spirit.
Serve others.
Build friendships and unity.
Learn skills.
Appreciate God’s creations.
Have fun!
When I was in the orphanage I was blessed to have these experiences. Back then, I had been baptized into the Lutheran Church however, I had only been in a church a few times. I had never seen the goodness that being a Christian was until Hollygrove Home for Children.
While living there, I was invited to attend the Girl Scout Camp, even though I was not officially a girl scout.
Up on that mountain, I did feel the influence of the Holy Spirit. I learned how to work in leather, and over the years since, I been able to teach others how to do the same. I had a few friends while there, and back in Hollygrove. When I looked down from the top of the mountain, I stood in awe at the works that God had given me. I also had fun.
Such good memories. I wish all young people could attend one of these types of retreats from the world. It is so needed, now more than 50 years ago.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
To my Children 2
In Hebrew, the word Sabbath means “rest.” The purpose of the Sabbath dates back to the Creation of the world, when after six days of labor the Lord rested from the work of creation. (Genesis 2:2-3.) When He later revealed the Ten Commandments to Moses, God commanded that we “remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”(Exodus 20:8, Deuteronomy 5:12; Mosiah 13:16, 18:23) Later, the Sabbath was observed as a reminder of the deliverance of Israel from their bondage in Egypt. (Deuteronomy 5:14-15) Perhaps most important, the Sabbath was given as a perpetual covenant, a constant reminder that the Lord may sanctify His people. (Exodus 31:14-15)
5. See Deuteronomy 5:14–15. People who choose to work seven days a week are essentially in bondage—to work or perhaps to money, but they are slaves nevertheless. A millionaire who works seven days a week is a rich slave. (Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles)
It made me happy to see your grandmother introduced you to Jesus Christ. However, you were to young to be baptized. But she did not know that. She was trying to keep the commandments of the Lord.
Since the first day the missionaries knocked on my door in Yuma, Arizona, and then had the great privilege of being baptized by the power of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood, I have had happiness and joy.
D&C 20:
71 No one can be received into the church of Christ unless he has arrived unto the years of accountability before God, and is capable of repentance.
72 Baptism is to be administered in the following manner unto all those who repent—
73 The person who is called of God and has authority from Jesus Christ to baptize, shall go down into the water with the person who has presented himself or herself for baptism, and shall say, calling him or her by name: "Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
“Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then … are ye sanctified in Christ.”(Moroni 10:32-33)
With love in my heart, I leave this with you as my prayer, testimony, and blessing in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
To all my children
Old Testament, Deuteronomy 6:4-10
"4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:
5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Never allow anyone to force you to disobey your God. Never. God loves those whom love Him.
"4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:
5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Never allow anyone to force you to disobey your God. Never. God loves those whom love Him.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Stem Cell Question
One thing I have an issue with is the not so new "stem cell" research. Do they not know where those are coming from?
Murdered babies are allowing evil to use their body parts to be used by good people who want to help others.
Now, how does that work? Excuse me?
This is probably not for everyone, so please bear with me for a moment. Remember, these are my thoughts.
When Christopher Reeves was told that by using stem cells he would be able to walk again, of course he wanted them. I am sure that many others did as well. Michael Fox is also one who suffers with the same disorder I do. Many famous people spoke up in favor of this type of research. Thus, many people were tricked into believing the lies told them. They are still doing it!
For me, personally, I refused all treatments that allow man to make money on dead babies. Period.
I will not shut up on this. I also do not believe in abortion. That is just plain murder. I know most people close their eyes and accept that a woman has the right to murder an innocent child.
Laws may say that this is fine. This is legal. But I for one am against it. I am not silent in this regard, nor are many others. However, I do not think that blowing up a clinic is how to stop it. I also do not think killing anyone over it is right either. I believe that teaching truth can help women to see that they are daughters of a God who loves them. He gave us laws, and in those laws He said, "Thou shalt not kill, nor do anything like it."
Here is the Official Declaration of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints:
"In today's society, abortion has become a common practice, defended by deceptive arguments. Latter-day prophets have denounced abortion, referring to the Lord's declaration, “Thou shalt not . . . kill, nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6). Their counsel on the matter is clear: Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion. Church members who encourage an abortion in any way may be subject to Church discipline.
"Church leaders have said that some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer."
"When a child is conceived out of wedlock, the best option is for the mother and father of the child to marry and work toward establishing an eternal family relationship. If a successful marriage is unlikely, they should place the child for adoption, preferably through LDS Family Services."
—See True to the Faith (2004), 4-5
I have highlighted something which I consider to be very important.
When I was pregnant with my youngest child, I was told by doctor's, police, friends, and family to get rid of the fetus. "Fetus" is only another word for "Child". If you should tell a woman "You need to murder your baby so you will not be embarrassed, nor feel shame over what was done to you" she would probably slap your face.
I know that men feel tenderly towards this issue, and I apologize to them, however, they are not women. It is a woman who must suffer over this issue. No insult intended to men, but when fathers of a child think about it, it is rather like a chicken contributing to breakfast one egg. A ham gives his whole body and soul to a meal.
I have listened as women have wept and carried such shame over murdering their child. Many had no idea what they were doing. Some were even told by someone of their own faith to do it. After all, they were told, you are not married. Or, you can't have a child by your "insert relative here". Shame on them! You can't look back in your old age and again feel shame for taking the life of an innocent infant who only came to earth to gain that body that will be ripped apart.
When I first arrived in my current location and saw there were abortion clinics here, I wrote to every clergyman and clergywoman in this town. I asked if they would stand with me to get those places run out of town. I asked them to go to the Capital with me and let those in office know how we felt.
Only two responded. One Orthodox Rabbi and One President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints. Thus, after I went to the Capital, I shut my mouth and prayed about how to handle it. I got my answer and am sure if you pray about it, you too will get an answer.
I do what I can to get rid of those whom degrade women, children, both male and female. When I see the graffiti that sends evil to homes where single women live, or young children live, I make the city get it off the walls, or I do it myself. When I learn where the whore houses are, I picket out front to let everyone in that area know who they are and what they do. Where ever I see evil's calling cards, I go to those who think they are getting away with something and ask them to remove them. Most laugh and send me away, but I pray about them, and they don't do much business.
I used to walk the boundaries of the areas I lived in to be sure that the children and women in that area were safe. I talked to hookers, and I also talked to pimps. I cleaned up condoms and needles so the youth would not find them. I reported those whom I saw doing evil. I reported those places that were contaminated by people doing things they shouldn't on the fruits and vegetables in people's gardens. I spoke to men who with those hookers. I prayed as I walked. God was with me, even though few people came.
I thank God for those who did come and brought me dry socks, sandwiches and water; those who helped me have dry clothing when it was raining. I may only be one person, but I stand up for what I believe in. Anyone who knows me, knows that.
Years ago, I even went to see the Mayor of the city where I reside and in front of his public, I faced him and when I had his attention, I called him to repentance for allowing this type of thing in our city. He who claimed he was on the side of right and order was actually part owner in those types of stores that cause severe pain to women, men and children. The others in the room all hung their heads in shame, but he did not.
Doctrine and Covenant 56: 7 reads: "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things."
I thank the Lord for knowledge. It has set me free. I know it can you as well.
Murdered babies are allowing evil to use their body parts to be used by good people who want to help others.
Now, how does that work? Excuse me?
This is probably not for everyone, so please bear with me for a moment. Remember, these are my thoughts.
When Christopher Reeves was told that by using stem cells he would be able to walk again, of course he wanted them. I am sure that many others did as well. Michael Fox is also one who suffers with the same disorder I do. Many famous people spoke up in favor of this type of research. Thus, many people were tricked into believing the lies told them. They are still doing it!
For me, personally, I refused all treatments that allow man to make money on dead babies. Period.
I will not shut up on this. I also do not believe in abortion. That is just plain murder. I know most people close their eyes and accept that a woman has the right to murder an innocent child.
Laws may say that this is fine. This is legal. But I for one am against it. I am not silent in this regard, nor are many others. However, I do not think that blowing up a clinic is how to stop it. I also do not think killing anyone over it is right either. I believe that teaching truth can help women to see that they are daughters of a God who loves them. He gave us laws, and in those laws He said, "Thou shalt not kill, nor do anything like it."
Here is the Official Declaration of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints:
"In today's society, abortion has become a common practice, defended by deceptive arguments. Latter-day prophets have denounced abortion, referring to the Lord's declaration, “Thou shalt not . . . kill, nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6). Their counsel on the matter is clear: Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion. Church members who encourage an abortion in any way may be subject to Church discipline.
"Church leaders have said that some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer."
"When a child is conceived out of wedlock, the best option is for the mother and father of the child to marry and work toward establishing an eternal family relationship. If a successful marriage is unlikely, they should place the child for adoption, preferably through LDS Family Services."
—See True to the Faith (2004), 4-5
I have highlighted something which I consider to be very important.
When I was pregnant with my youngest child, I was told by doctor's, police, friends, and family to get rid of the fetus. "Fetus" is only another word for "Child". If you should tell a woman "You need to murder your baby so you will not be embarrassed, nor feel shame over what was done to you" she would probably slap your face.
I know that men feel tenderly towards this issue, and I apologize to them, however, they are not women. It is a woman who must suffer over this issue. No insult intended to men, but when fathers of a child think about it, it is rather like a chicken contributing to breakfast one egg. A ham gives his whole body and soul to a meal.
I have listened as women have wept and carried such shame over murdering their child. Many had no idea what they were doing. Some were even told by someone of their own faith to do it. After all, they were told, you are not married. Or, you can't have a child by your "insert relative here". Shame on them! You can't look back in your old age and again feel shame for taking the life of an innocent infant who only came to earth to gain that body that will be ripped apart.
When I first arrived in my current location and saw there were abortion clinics here, I wrote to every clergyman and clergywoman in this town. I asked if they would stand with me to get those places run out of town. I asked them to go to the Capital with me and let those in office know how we felt.
Only two responded. One Orthodox Rabbi and One President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints. Thus, after I went to the Capital, I shut my mouth and prayed about how to handle it. I got my answer and am sure if you pray about it, you too will get an answer.
I do what I can to get rid of those whom degrade women, children, both male and female. When I see the graffiti that sends evil to homes where single women live, or young children live, I make the city get it off the walls, or I do it myself. When I learn where the whore houses are, I picket out front to let everyone in that area know who they are and what they do. Where ever I see evil's calling cards, I go to those who think they are getting away with something and ask them to remove them. Most laugh and send me away, but I pray about them, and they don't do much business.
I used to walk the boundaries of the areas I lived in to be sure that the children and women in that area were safe. I talked to hookers, and I also talked to pimps. I cleaned up condoms and needles so the youth would not find them. I reported those whom I saw doing evil. I reported those places that were contaminated by people doing things they shouldn't on the fruits and vegetables in people's gardens. I spoke to men who with those hookers. I prayed as I walked. God was with me, even though few people came.
I thank God for those who did come and brought me dry socks, sandwiches and water; those who helped me have dry clothing when it was raining. I may only be one person, but I stand up for what I believe in. Anyone who knows me, knows that.
Years ago, I even went to see the Mayor of the city where I reside and in front of his public, I faced him and when I had his attention, I called him to repentance for allowing this type of thing in our city. He who claimed he was on the side of right and order was actually part owner in those types of stores that cause severe pain to women, men and children. The others in the room all hung their heads in shame, but he did not.
Doctrine and Covenant 56: 7 reads: "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things."
I thank the Lord for knowledge. It has set me free. I know it can you as well.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Gift from my Step-sister
After my father died, I was given this gift of photographs. I treasure them, and wish to share them with you, so you can see what I missed. I am not sure of their ages. Perhaps you can know from looking at these.
 |
| 1968 - Baptized in the Lutheran Church
It gives me joy to know that their grandmother gave them knowledge of Jesus Christ, as far as she understood him. She did that for me as well. I do thank her for that. That planted the seed.
|
 |
| 23 December 1971 |
 |
| 3 March 1973 |
November 1971
 |
| 1974-1975 school year |
Families are so important. It gives me joy to know that they survived and found a form of happiness. In this time in history, even abusive mothers are allowed to at least visit their children. Drug addicts can see their children. Yet, for me, who was none of the above - nothing.
I know that if I serve a faithful Mission I shall be reunited with my children. I was blessed to see them once in 1989 just prior to the end of my Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day-saint s ended.
For me, life is a mission. I came to earth to gain a body and be tested. I have done both, and now my goal is endure well until I am reunited with those whom I love that love me.
Fathers, Love your children's mothers. Mothers, Love your Husbands. Children, Love your parents. Forgiveness is vital in this world. Understanding who you are can help you to be safe in spite of difficulties. Know that I love you and always will.
Thank you to my step-sister for keeping track of my little ones when I could not. Thank you for these treasures.
All those who know: please, do not keep children away from a mother who loves them. Grief can destroy lives.
For those who mourn
For Those Who Mourn
By Paul Buckingham
Just one of those quiet, aged sisters
Who touched your soul with her smile;
Slowly, unpretentiously she moved about
Keeping commandments,
Attending,
Serving.
She is
Someone’s daughter,
Someone’s mother,
Someone’s wife,
Now a widow,
Dead.
And few notice her passing.
There is no crowded chapel,
No rippled shock of grief
Through generations of humanity—
Just a quiet, undecorated,
Mildly celebrated
Death.
Her obituary notice falls
In yesterday’s trash,
The funeral flowers wilt and dry.
But in the
Heart of heaven
There are kisses on her cheek,
Embraces,
For a cherished spirit has returned,
A prized daughter is crowned,
Glorified.
And I suspect it was such a
Quiet death
Because we could not hear the
Celebration of her
Arrival.
This gives me comfort this night. Tonight, I think of my youngest child. My dear sweet daughter whom was never really mine. She was created from pain and suffering, and survived because I pleaded with God to give her life. She was willing to just obtain her body then go back home.
I know not if she is alive or dead. I had to give her to someone who had prayed for a child and could not have her own. She came to me unexpected, and at that time not wanted. Yet, when she came forth, how could I not love her and want her. A neighbor's son married me so the name on her birth certificate would never bring her shame. Yet, she was not his either.
On the 9th of April she was born in body. I still mourn for what might have been if I had only had a righteous husband to love and protect me from evil. But then, if I had that man, she never would have been born. She came during the course of a few nights and days from wicked men who broke into my home.
I mourn for my own children, whom I never was allowed to love and raise. Yet, I do not mourn for them, as I know they were blessed while out of my keep. They were able to love each other and nurture each other. My daughter was mother to my son when I could not be.
My world may be different than yours, but we are all different, aren't we?
I love my children through all eternity, yet they are not mine. They belong to God, just as I do. I pray they learned of Him.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Families
Not all people had loving families growing up. It is to you, I wish to share my feelings and things I know to be true.
While you and I grew up in ways that many who had loving parents will never understand; I want you to know that God is aware of you. Jesus knows and understands how you feel when you hear all this talk about families. I know how bad you feel to know that your parents were not loving and kind. They did not teach you to pray, nor protect you.
I know that God wants you to know that He loves you. For you, He has great blessings in store if you accept the Atonement of Jesus Christ. If you will read the Holy Scriptures, and listen to the living prophets, knowing that God loves you, you will feel His Holy Spirit and learn this fact for yourself.
I know that when you hear truth, sometimes it makes you angry. I have felt that way as well, before I knew that God’s family is really my family. I want you to know that when you put your name in the scriptures it can help you to understand what is really being said by the Holy Spirit.
In the scriptures you will read of many who did not have parents who were ideal. Many of them chose to follow God and they in turn blessed many thousands of those who came after them.
I share with you words of a song that was written by Matthew Neeley. While he wrote this for little children who know who they are, these words are for you and me and all of God’s children around the world. I have inserted my own words in brackets.
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—
These words are truth. Never, never, never give up. No matter how hard life was, you can make it better. Really, you can.
There were those who wrote these truths many years ago. In one song, words written by Robert Keen about 1787, the words gave me hope and still continue to bless my life:
While you and I grew up in ways that many who had loving parents will never understand; I want you to know that God is aware of you. Jesus knows and understands how you feel when you hear all this talk about families. I know how bad you feel to know that your parents were not loving and kind. They did not teach you to pray, nor protect you.
I know that God wants you to know that He loves you. For you, He has great blessings in store if you accept the Atonement of Jesus Christ. If you will read the Holy Scriptures, and listen to the living prophets, knowing that God loves you, you will feel His Holy Spirit and learn this fact for yourself.
I know that when you hear truth, sometimes it makes you angry. I have felt that way as well, before I knew that God’s family is really my family. I want you to know that when you put your name in the scriptures it can help you to understand what is really being said by the Holy Spirit.
In the scriptures you will read of many who did not have parents who were ideal. Many of them chose to follow God and they in turn blessed many thousands of those who came after them.
I share with you words of a song that was written by Matthew Neeley. While he wrote this for little children who know who they are, these words are for you and me and all of God’s children around the world. I have inserted my own words in brackets.
“Our Father has a family. It’s me!
It’s you, all others too: we are His children.
He sent each one of us to earth, through birth,
To live and learn here in fam’lies. (don’t stop reading)
A father’s place is to preside, provide,
To love and teach the gospel to his children.
A father leads in fam’ly prayer to share
Their love for Father in Heaven. (don’t stop reading)
A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare,
To nurture and to strengthen all her children.
She teaches children to obey, to pray,
To love and serve in the fam’ly. (don’t get upset. Keep reading)
I’ll love and serve my family and be
A good example to each fam’ly member.
And when I am a mom or dad, so glad, (keep reading)
I’ll help my fam’ly remember:
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—
This is how He shares His love, for the fam’ly is of God."
Words and music: Matthew Neeley
© 2008 by Matthew Neeley. All rights reserved. This song may be copied for incidental, noncommercial church or home use. This notice must be included on each copy made.
These words are truth. Never, never, never give up. No matter how hard life was, you can make it better. Really, you can.
There were those who wrote these truths many years ago. In one song, words written by Robert Keen about 1787, the words gave me hope and still continue to bless my life:
“The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!”
I know this is truth, it has been proven to me in times past. I pray you will read and listen and then prove rather God's words are truth or not. I hope you will come to know for yourself that what I share is truth. Saturday, April 4, 2015
After Suicide
Many years ago, one of my aunts committed suicide. Most of the family was devastated. Because I see things in a different way than most, I was relieved for her. Not in that she killed herself, but rather that in death she obtained relief. I feel that those who think about this as a way to find relief, forget that others suffer for many years after they are gone.
The only people I loved, prior to my knowledge of Jesus Christ, were dead, and I believed they were with God up in heaven. So those who died were the lucky ones. Then, when I learned of Jesus Christ, (in a church not the same as I now am), I was crushed when they told people that those who commit suicide are condemned to eternal damnation. The entire family was told to feel shame for allowing them to do such a horrible thing. They were wrong.
God knows why we do what we do, and Jesus Christ paid the price to say who is damned and who is not. I know that He understands and forgives. It is never a families fault when someone gives up on life. Life is hard. But Jesus Christ is the keeper of the gate. He knows our names. He cares about each and every one of us.
Many teach that there is only one heaven and one hell, but that is not correct either. In the Holy Bible, 1 Corinthians 15: 41-42, Paul tells us that:
41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.
42 So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
Just as there are millions of stars and planets, our earth only has one Sun and one Moon. They are reflections of the Light that the Lord Jesus Christ has in loving God's children.
I know as a parent, I loved those whom I cared for who were not my own. I have never stopped loving the children I gave birth to. I am sure you love your children or nieces or nephews with an unconditional love. For those who have temporarily lost someone you love, know that it is not your fault.
Each of us live in different homes in family groups. In death it is the same. Yet, we are all the family of God. Jesus Christ understands what each of us suffer. Only God understands the why. The good news is, death is not the end.
Forgiveness is real. This is called The Atonement. Jesus died that we all might live. I'm sure that those who commit suicide gave up on life and felt that death was the only peace. I am also sure that now, they are being taught truth on the other side. They will not be required to pay as much as those who deliberately murder others will. Their death is much different than that.
Growing up, I felt that death would be much better than life. As a young person, each time I tried to die, I lived. For many years I had no clue as to why that was. I know now that God did not want me to come home before I learned some things. Such as: there is hope and love in the world that is clean and good. He wanted me to have time to repent of my sins and find out which place in God's kingdoms I wanted to be.
The last time I wanted to die was after I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints. I had a good job, loving friends, I was learning to play the organ, I had my own piano and a nice home. I was enjoying life. All was good, until someone cut the lock off my bedroom window. I replaced the lock, however, I remembered that bad people find ways to do bad things. I believed I was no longer safe. I began to lose sleep and had no one I could share what I had already gone through in my growing up years.
Then, at work, someone brought back memories of my babies, and because I was still mourning for the lose of my own children, it brought back bad memories. Over a short period of time, I forgot who I am and why I needed to live. I wanted to feel safe, and rather than remembering how, I took every pill I had in the house. I do not do drugs, however, even vitamins can be overdone to a point where they shut your organs down.
I remember falling in the hallway, and crawling to the bathroom as I was vomiting blood. As I saw the pool of blood on the floor, I came to my senses, crawled out to where I could reach the telephone cord. I pulled the phone to the floor, dialed 911 and said, "I think I have killed me. Help." Soon, the paramedics were there and took me to the hospital where I survived.
My neighbor came down and when she saw me on the gurney she said, "I'll get help." After I came home from the hospital my Bishop came and I'm sorry to say, I could not even share with him my past. I told him I had to move to another location, and he told me he would help me to stay. I did not know how to tell him why I had such intense fear of being alone.
One of the prophets of God said, "Remove any of your fear with faith. Trust the power of God to guide you." Elder M Russell Ballard.
It takes time to heal. It takes time to release your grief. Know that there are those whom can help. Pray constantly. Try not to be alone and reach out to those who love you. I suggest you go to www.mormonchannel.org and watch or listen to those who do understand what you are going through. They can teach you truth and give you light to go on.
The only people I loved, prior to my knowledge of Jesus Christ, were dead, and I believed they were with God up in heaven. So those who died were the lucky ones. Then, when I learned of Jesus Christ, (in a church not the same as I now am), I was crushed when they told people that those who commit suicide are condemned to eternal damnation. The entire family was told to feel shame for allowing them to do such a horrible thing. They were wrong.
God knows why we do what we do, and Jesus Christ paid the price to say who is damned and who is not. I know that He understands and forgives. It is never a families fault when someone gives up on life. Life is hard. But Jesus Christ is the keeper of the gate. He knows our names. He cares about each and every one of us.
Many teach that there is only one heaven and one hell, but that is not correct either. In the Holy Bible, 1 Corinthians 15: 41-42, Paul tells us that:
41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.
42 So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
Just as there are millions of stars and planets, our earth only has one Sun and one Moon. They are reflections of the Light that the Lord Jesus Christ has in loving God's children.
I know as a parent, I loved those whom I cared for who were not my own. I have never stopped loving the children I gave birth to. I am sure you love your children or nieces or nephews with an unconditional love. For those who have temporarily lost someone you love, know that it is not your fault.
Each of us live in different homes in family groups. In death it is the same. Yet, we are all the family of God. Jesus Christ understands what each of us suffer. Only God understands the why. The good news is, death is not the end.
Forgiveness is real. This is called The Atonement. Jesus died that we all might live. I'm sure that those who commit suicide gave up on life and felt that death was the only peace. I am also sure that now, they are being taught truth on the other side. They will not be required to pay as much as those who deliberately murder others will. Their death is much different than that.
Growing up, I felt that death would be much better than life. As a young person, each time I tried to die, I lived. For many years I had no clue as to why that was. I know now that God did not want me to come home before I learned some things. Such as: there is hope and love in the world that is clean and good. He wanted me to have time to repent of my sins and find out which place in God's kingdoms I wanted to be.
The last time I wanted to die was after I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints. I had a good job, loving friends, I was learning to play the organ, I had my own piano and a nice home. I was enjoying life. All was good, until someone cut the lock off my bedroom window. I replaced the lock, however, I remembered that bad people find ways to do bad things. I believed I was no longer safe. I began to lose sleep and had no one I could share what I had already gone through in my growing up years.
Then, at work, someone brought back memories of my babies, and because I was still mourning for the lose of my own children, it brought back bad memories. Over a short period of time, I forgot who I am and why I needed to live. I wanted to feel safe, and rather than remembering how, I took every pill I had in the house. I do not do drugs, however, even vitamins can be overdone to a point where they shut your organs down.
I remember falling in the hallway, and crawling to the bathroom as I was vomiting blood. As I saw the pool of blood on the floor, I came to my senses, crawled out to where I could reach the telephone cord. I pulled the phone to the floor, dialed 911 and said, "I think I have killed me. Help." Soon, the paramedics were there and took me to the hospital where I survived.
My neighbor came down and when she saw me on the gurney she said, "I'll get help." After I came home from the hospital my Bishop came and I'm sorry to say, I could not even share with him my past. I told him I had to move to another location, and he told me he would help me to stay. I did not know how to tell him why I had such intense fear of being alone.
One of the prophets of God said, "Remove any of your fear with faith. Trust the power of God to guide you." Elder M Russell Ballard.
It takes time to heal. It takes time to release your grief. Know that there are those whom can help. Pray constantly. Try not to be alone and reach out to those who love you. I suggest you go to www.mormonchannel.org and watch or listen to those who do understand what you are going through. They can teach you truth and give you light to go on.
Overcoming fear
A dear friend gave this to me, at a time I really needed to hear it. I know it takes a while to really "feel" what it says, but I pray you will read it and post it where you can see it each and every day.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,
Gorgeous, talented and famous?'"
"Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you."
"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us.
It’s in everyone, and as we let our own light shine,
We consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."
Taken from Marianne Williamson’s book,
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles, pg 165
Spoken by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural speech.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,
Gorgeous, talented and famous?'"
"Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you."
"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us.
It’s in everyone, and as we let our own light shine,
We consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."
Taken from Marianne Williamson’s book,
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles, pg 165
Spoken by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural speech.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Helping a victim heal
I received some great advice from a young man who had experienced an event that was not any fault of his own. I have borrowed some of his words, because they mostly are true in a situation like mine.
Most victims hate that word. I used to, however, it is a real word that others can understand. We are also survivors.
When I was in my early 20's my babies were kidnapped, and doctor's removed all my memories to keep me alive. However, after about 30 years all the memories came back. Only they kept coming back in inappropriate times and places.
I received comments from friends and acquaintances urging me to “cheer up”, “Don’t be so depressed,” “It was a long time ago” or “You’d think you’d be over it by now.”
I wish I could have gotten over it and returned to activities, and yet, in my life over my youth and growing up years, I had had so many traumatic issues, it was not that easy. I knew that I would not be able to work or play without seeing other children, or hear the voices of children laughing or crying. Where friends tried to help me by sharing their children during Thanksgiving, they did not know that I went home after and cried myself to sleep for weeks afterward. Thanksgiving was the night my babies were kidnapped.
After my memory came back, at one employment I was doing well, until a woman tossed a used diaper in my trash can. Especially since the previous night someone had cut the lock off the bars on my bedroom windows and I was in fear that someone would break into my home again. I knew I was in trouble when I realized I had been under my desk in tears before someone came and helped me out and into another office.
The good-natured, albeit misguided pressure to take drugs hurts deeply. We don’t need drugs, we need comfort and understanding. We need someone who can just sit and listen and then hug us so we can get up and try again.
Early on, I learned to keep my mouth shut and stay away from people when I have more than one trigger active. Some accused me of being dishonest, when they wanted to know details about my life. They wanted to know what I did to get my children taken away. The worst part? I was still trying to sort out those feelings myself. I find that was a question that only God could answer, and He does comfort each woman who has lost children in this way.
I recognize that much of the hurt I felt was unintended, or a result of inexperience. So, in an effort to educate, here are some tips on how to help those who suffer such a devastating loss —from someone who has lived the disaster.
1. Recognize how traumatic the experience is for the person.
Most who lose a child or children feel nostalgia and grief. The conflicting emotions are difficult to deal with. The thought of “What if?” or “If I had only. . . ” is a constant nag. It’s ok for them to be sad. It may take years for the wounds to begin to heal. But given time, they will. Let us grieve. In the meantime, supportive friends and neighbors should say, “We love you,” not, “You don’t have to be sad.” Many of us need to work through our grief to heal. Simply show love to us while we do it.
2. Don’t search for something to say.
You don’t need profound words of encouragement or a prepared speech. I recall many moments of pause, confusion, and stammering when I explained that “Yes, I have children, but no, I have no children.” What we do not need to hear is “sorry.” We want to know that our sacrifice mattered. We want to know that we are still mothers in your eyes. For me, an arm around my shoulder and a warm smile are all I ever wanted. That’s all you have to do. Allow a person to cry when they need to, without locking them up.
For me, I felt that no matter what I said, my friends did not understand what I was going through. I was largely right. Unless someone has had a similar experience, it is difficult to connect. Don’t feel shunned or unloved if a person doesn't share the dark days of their life with you. Encourage conversation when you can, listen intently to understand, be sure they have someone to talk to, but don’t put blame or guilt on them for not being “open” about their issues. They have enough on their plate already.
Pep talks and cheering up strategies didn't work well for me and I've never seen it work for anyone else either. What helped me most was moving on with life. Spiritual music, scripture reading, walking in nature, crafts, and going to the ocean or the mountains helped me put the nightmares in the past for the most part. Work helped, when I was able to work. Being able to get to church helped me a lot. I needed that Spirit of the Lord to soothe my troubled feelings.
4. Treat them like everyone else, and not as if their situation makes them some kind of an anomaly.
Ask them about their future goals and dreams. Talk about hobbies they might pick up. It is not necessary to discuss their difficulties in order to connect. But when they want to talk, don't make them be quiet in their own homes. They must feel you are safe and can handle it or they would never have said a word.
All we ask for is acceptance and love. Don’t tell us to take drugs to block our feelings. Allow us to remember our children and feel what we feel. It is much more healing and much faster without drugs to mask our problems. That way memories don’t jump out in places and at times they should not.
Most victims hate that word. I used to, however, it is a real word that others can understand. We are also survivors.
When I was in my early 20's my babies were kidnapped, and doctor's removed all my memories to keep me alive. However, after about 30 years all the memories came back. Only they kept coming back in inappropriate times and places.
I received comments from friends and acquaintances urging me to “cheer up”, “Don’t be so depressed,” “It was a long time ago” or “You’d think you’d be over it by now.”
I wish I could have gotten over it and returned to activities, and yet, in my life over my youth and growing up years, I had had so many traumatic issues, it was not that easy. I knew that I would not be able to work or play without seeing other children, or hear the voices of children laughing or crying. Where friends tried to help me by sharing their children during Thanksgiving, they did not know that I went home after and cried myself to sleep for weeks afterward. Thanksgiving was the night my babies were kidnapped.
After my memory came back, at one employment I was doing well, until a woman tossed a used diaper in my trash can. Especially since the previous night someone had cut the lock off the bars on my bedroom windows and I was in fear that someone would break into my home again. I knew I was in trouble when I realized I had been under my desk in tears before someone came and helped me out and into another office.
The good-natured, albeit misguided pressure to take drugs hurts deeply. We don’t need drugs, we need comfort and understanding. We need someone who can just sit and listen and then hug us so we can get up and try again.
Early on, I learned to keep my mouth shut and stay away from people when I have more than one trigger active. Some accused me of being dishonest, when they wanted to know details about my life. They wanted to know what I did to get my children taken away. The worst part? I was still trying to sort out those feelings myself. I find that was a question that only God could answer, and He does comfort each woman who has lost children in this way.
I recognize that much of the hurt I felt was unintended, or a result of inexperience. So, in an effort to educate, here are some tips on how to help those who suffer such a devastating loss —from someone who has lived the disaster.
1. Recognize how traumatic the experience is for the person.
Most who lose a child or children feel nostalgia and grief. The conflicting emotions are difficult to deal with. The thought of “What if?” or “If I had only. . . ” is a constant nag. It’s ok for them to be sad. It may take years for the wounds to begin to heal. But given time, they will. Let us grieve. In the meantime, supportive friends and neighbors should say, “We love you,” not, “You don’t have to be sad.” Many of us need to work through our grief to heal. Simply show love to us while we do it.
2. Don’t search for something to say.
You don’t need profound words of encouragement or a prepared speech. I recall many moments of pause, confusion, and stammering when I explained that “Yes, I have children, but no, I have no children.” What we do not need to hear is “sorry.” We want to know that our sacrifice mattered. We want to know that we are still mothers in your eyes. For me, an arm around my shoulder and a warm smile are all I ever wanted. That’s all you have to do. Allow a person to cry when they need to, without locking them up.
For me, I felt that no matter what I said, my friends did not understand what I was going through. I was largely right. Unless someone has had a similar experience, it is difficult to connect. Don’t feel shunned or unloved if a person doesn't share the dark days of their life with you. Encourage conversation when you can, listen intently to understand, be sure they have someone to talk to, but don’t put blame or guilt on them for not being “open” about their issues. They have enough on their plate already.
Pep talks and cheering up strategies didn't work well for me and I've never seen it work for anyone else either. What helped me most was moving on with life. Spiritual music, scripture reading, walking in nature, crafts, and going to the ocean or the mountains helped me put the nightmares in the past for the most part. Work helped, when I was able to work. Being able to get to church helped me a lot. I needed that Spirit of the Lord to soothe my troubled feelings.
4. Treat them like everyone else, and not as if their situation makes them some kind of an anomaly.
Ask them about their future goals and dreams. Talk about hobbies they might pick up. It is not necessary to discuss their difficulties in order to connect. But when they want to talk, don't make them be quiet in their own homes. They must feel you are safe and can handle it or they would never have said a word.
All we ask for is acceptance and love. Don’t tell us to take drugs to block our feelings. Allow us to remember our children and feel what we feel. It is much more healing and much faster without drugs to mask our problems. That way memories don’t jump out in places and at times they should not.
Prayer
“In order to assist the Savior, we have to work together in unity and in harmony. Everyone, every position, and every calling is important.” Elder Chi Hong Wong, of the seventy.
I do so love this man and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints.
When Bishop (name withheld) first came to be bishop, he and his wife came to my home. I had been lame for several years, and had gone inactive as I could not get to church. He blessed me with wise counsel and sent others to help.
They struggled for many months to help me get to church, and for a short time I was able to attend my meetings. It was so good to be back. I had missed it something horrible.
As I got sicker, he wanted to help me and suggested I be placed in a care facility so that could happen. I tried to explain what those type of places do to a person’s soul, and yet could not convey my deep feelings on the matter.
I fasted and prayed many days and nights to obtain an answer as to rather I had to obey my bishop. I did not want to refuse, as God had placed him over me; to watch and take good care of me. Who was I to disagree with a man of God? I asked if I could be sent back to Yuma, Arizona to a home there, and was told no. I fasted and prayed again. I wept bitter tears over this.
I am most grateful for the answer that came. If I accepted the call to go to a home, I could be an instrument for the Lord in teaching those who do not know Him, and comforting those who have forgotten Him. If I chose not to go, the choice was mine.
I pondered over this situation and knew that once inside, I would never be allowed to be free again. Never again be allowed to go outside unless it was to the smoker’s area. Never again be allowed to pray out loud. Never again to be treated with kindness. Never again to listen to good music when I wanted to or read my scriptures whenever I wanted to. Never again be allowed to say no when others wanted me to do something I did not want to do. Never again to step foot upon real grass and earth. Never again be allowed to touch a tree or feel water outside. Never again be allowed to gaze into the night sky and see the wonders of God.
I took my feelings to the Lord and felt great comfort from Him. I asked if my home here would be accepted by him as a place where I could serve, and after receiving a confirmation, I let the bishop know I was refusing his calling to go to a home.
Then, I set about to set my own house in order and have been blessed to continue to serve in a new way.
Sometimes, we must do things we do not understand, and when we do them we are blessed beyond our imaginations to understand. Sometimes, when we take our ideas to the Lord, He agrees with what we have suggested and again, we are blessed in ways too hard to explain.
God does hear and answer prayer. I know this. I pray you know this. If you do not know this, I invite you to take your problems to the Lord and keep doing that until you know it is from Him. Then you too can know what I know.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
What Mother means to me
I learned about motherhood in a way different than most people. I have seen many wonderful mothers from around the world. There are good mothers in every country upon the earth as well as in all religions.
However, I also know that just because a woman gives birth to a child does not make them a real mother. God gave most women the ability to conceive a child, nonetheless, how they treat a child is what I believe makes them a mother.
I honor and respect Mothers, and have always done all I can to help them protect and raise their children in righteousness. I also helped children to honor and respect their mothers, just because they gave them life. And when their mothers loved and respected them, that was easy. When they did not, that was not easy.
My sister's words introduced me to my own mother, and not having a memory of her, that gave me insight into how happy I might have been if she had lived. It is easy for me to honor and respect her because she chose to give me life, even at the cost of her own. While she did not die giving me birth, she died because she gave me birth.
I know that she read the scriptures, because one of the items she left behind was an old, worn bible, and the other was a painting of an angel watching over two little children on a rickety old bridge over a raging water below.
One of those who knew my mother, said that she put me in a shoe box lined with cotton and then placed that on the door of the stove so I could stay warm. I only weighed 2 pounds when I was born. Back in the 1940's, they did not have special intensive care units for small babies as they do now. Most of those who were that small died. Mother gave me life, and then helped me survive for the time she was well enough to watch over me.
Sissy told me a story once, that mother used to drink coffee and she would boil it on the stove, then put it in the window sill to cool. One morning, she placed her cup of coffee in the window sill to cool while she was in another room doing something. My sister pulled a chair up to the sink then helped me up on it. She reached up and brought the cup of coffee down. She said that together, we drank it, and then fearing mother might get upset, we put mud into the cup and filled it with water, then put it back on the windowsill.
When mother came in and saw what we had done, she chased us around the house and when she got us, rather than beat us, she tickled us in the tummy until we all giggled together and then told us to never do that again.
When sissy shared this with me, I was living in a yard with animals for mothers. My sister was hiding behind the grape arbor and whispered it to me so she would not be heard.
Our step-mother at that time was not a good example of motherhood. I was not yet 5 years old and animals were kinder to me than she who was suppose to be my mother. I was born in October 1945, my mother died in April 1949.
My sister was a mother to me. She pushed bread under the door of the closet so I could eat. She told me bible stories and taught me music when she found mother's bible and autoharp. She allowed me to hear words my father spoke to mother and her while he was out to sea during World War II. She spoke to me whenever she could, and suffered for me when our step-mother tossed scalding water at me for not being quick. It seemed as though those who loved me paid a high price for that love.
When I was rescued, the doctors wrote down that if I had been outside much longer I would not have survived. I had what is called "protein malnutrition." I had survived by eating fruit that fell from the trees, and berries which grew on the back fence and around the yard. I was kept warm by cuddling with animals at night. All children need mothers.
One of those who could have been a mother to me, was a woman who sent me to a school that taught of Jesus Christ. I do not know how old I was, but I do know I had not turned 10 years old yet. Many years later, I learned she had told her own child that if abortion had been legal back then, her last child would never have been born. To me, a woman who could tell a child such a horrible thing is not a mother. However, she did give the child life, and the child who that mother said should not have been born, became a good mother to her own children.
My first example of real motherhood came from a woman who never had a child of her own. This good woman treated every child who came within her care with such tender love and encouragement, for me and hundreds of other children, she was a real mother.
She made sure we had food to eat, clean living quarters, laughter, lessons in many areas, and protected us from evil. She gave me the first example of good, clean love. I shall be eternally grateful to her for that.
I believe in motherhood. I believe that every child deserves a mother who can nurture and protect them and teach them by example how to be a good person. I know that good mother's deserve good husbands who will help them be safe, provide for their families and love their children.
One of the highest honors I received was when one of my step-daughters told me how much she loved me. She thanked me for the time we had together. She had never known a mother's love, and I had the honor of being a mother to her.
My other step-daughter was shocked when I stood up to her father on her side and how her father backed away and felt shame. Even though I only had her a few times, I was blessed to be a grandmother to her children.
It was an honor to teach them right from wrong and encourage them to not be like those who should have loved them. To let them know that it did not matter what they had done in the past, they deserved to improve and find peace rather than shame.
I was blessed to teach my step-son how a mother should be. He saw that his own father was a better man because of the example of a good mother in the home. (I say this not to brag, but to show that a woman's influence can make the difference between sorrow and happiness, good and evil). That boy became a better man because I was able to teach him right from wrong with God's love rather than cruelty and encouraged him to be a better man than he could have become. All I did was treat him as if he were my own son. I am so proud of him for the act of courage he displayed when others tried to force him to do evil.
God gave us women a special gift. For those who love the Lord, and accept the Atonement, we can become mothers even if we never have our own children. When we follow the examples of good women, we are only walking where God wants us to walk. We are becoming just like our Heavenly Mother. Motherhood is a divine calling, in my humble opinion. We have been given the honor of helping the children of God to be safe and to feed, nourish and respect them with love while they are upon the earth.
In this troubled world, we need to show those who are not mothers and only gave birth, how to repent and become mothers. When we make mistakes, we need to tell our children we are sorry, and then prove we are sorry by doing better.
One example I had of a real mother was back in 1982 in Sunland, California. This good woman allowed me to be mother to her children for a period of time and I learned by watching her and then applying what I learned. I saw how to handle it when a child does something wrong and how to say sorry when I was wrong and the child was right.
There are many mothers in the world. But as I stated earlier, giving birth to a child does not make a woman a mother. My heart goes out to all those who have murdered their unborn children because they were tricked into not knowing abortion is really murder. I know that those sweet spirits forgave those women. I know that those wee ones went right back to the highest degree of the highest heaven. Jesus loves children and so should we all.
However, I also know that just because a woman gives birth to a child does not make them a real mother. God gave most women the ability to conceive a child, nonetheless, how they treat a child is what I believe makes them a mother.
I honor and respect Mothers, and have always done all I can to help them protect and raise their children in righteousness. I also helped children to honor and respect their mothers, just because they gave them life. And when their mothers loved and respected them, that was easy. When they did not, that was not easy.
My sister's words introduced me to my own mother, and not having a memory of her, that gave me insight into how happy I might have been if she had lived. It is easy for me to honor and respect her because she chose to give me life, even at the cost of her own. While she did not die giving me birth, she died because she gave me birth.
I know that she read the scriptures, because one of the items she left behind was an old, worn bible, and the other was a painting of an angel watching over two little children on a rickety old bridge over a raging water below.
One of those who knew my mother, said that she put me in a shoe box lined with cotton and then placed that on the door of the stove so I could stay warm. I only weighed 2 pounds when I was born. Back in the 1940's, they did not have special intensive care units for small babies as they do now. Most of those who were that small died. Mother gave me life, and then helped me survive for the time she was well enough to watch over me.
Sissy told me a story once, that mother used to drink coffee and she would boil it on the stove, then put it in the window sill to cool. One morning, she placed her cup of coffee in the window sill to cool while she was in another room doing something. My sister pulled a chair up to the sink then helped me up on it. She reached up and brought the cup of coffee down. She said that together, we drank it, and then fearing mother might get upset, we put mud into the cup and filled it with water, then put it back on the windowsill.
When mother came in and saw what we had done, she chased us around the house and when she got us, rather than beat us, she tickled us in the tummy until we all giggled together and then told us to never do that again.
When sissy shared this with me, I was living in a yard with animals for mothers. My sister was hiding behind the grape arbor and whispered it to me so she would not be heard.
Our step-mother at that time was not a good example of motherhood. I was not yet 5 years old and animals were kinder to me than she who was suppose to be my mother. I was born in October 1945, my mother died in April 1949.
My sister was a mother to me. She pushed bread under the door of the closet so I could eat. She told me bible stories and taught me music when she found mother's bible and autoharp. She allowed me to hear words my father spoke to mother and her while he was out to sea during World War II. She spoke to me whenever she could, and suffered for me when our step-mother tossed scalding water at me for not being quick. It seemed as though those who loved me paid a high price for that love.
When I was rescued, the doctors wrote down that if I had been outside much longer I would not have survived. I had what is called "protein malnutrition." I had survived by eating fruit that fell from the trees, and berries which grew on the back fence and around the yard. I was kept warm by cuddling with animals at night. All children need mothers.
One of those who could have been a mother to me, was a woman who sent me to a school that taught of Jesus Christ. I do not know how old I was, but I do know I had not turned 10 years old yet. Many years later, I learned she had told her own child that if abortion had been legal back then, her last child would never have been born. To me, a woman who could tell a child such a horrible thing is not a mother. However, she did give the child life, and the child who that mother said should not have been born, became a good mother to her own children.
My first example of real motherhood came from a woman who never had a child of her own. This good woman treated every child who came within her care with such tender love and encouragement, for me and hundreds of other children, she was a real mother.
She made sure we had food to eat, clean living quarters, laughter, lessons in many areas, and protected us from evil. She gave me the first example of good, clean love. I shall be eternally grateful to her for that.
I believe in motherhood. I believe that every child deserves a mother who can nurture and protect them and teach them by example how to be a good person. I know that good mother's deserve good husbands who will help them be safe, provide for their families and love their children.
One of the highest honors I received was when one of my step-daughters told me how much she loved me. She thanked me for the time we had together. She had never known a mother's love, and I had the honor of being a mother to her.
My other step-daughter was shocked when I stood up to her father on her side and how her father backed away and felt shame. Even though I only had her a few times, I was blessed to be a grandmother to her children.
It was an honor to teach them right from wrong and encourage them to not be like those who should have loved them. To let them know that it did not matter what they had done in the past, they deserved to improve and find peace rather than shame.
I was blessed to teach my step-son how a mother should be. He saw that his own father was a better man because of the example of a good mother in the home. (I say this not to brag, but to show that a woman's influence can make the difference between sorrow and happiness, good and evil). That boy became a better man because I was able to teach him right from wrong with God's love rather than cruelty and encouraged him to be a better man than he could have become. All I did was treat him as if he were my own son. I am so proud of him for the act of courage he displayed when others tried to force him to do evil.
God gave us women a special gift. For those who love the Lord, and accept the Atonement, we can become mothers even if we never have our own children. When we follow the examples of good women, we are only walking where God wants us to walk. We are becoming just like our Heavenly Mother. Motherhood is a divine calling, in my humble opinion. We have been given the honor of helping the children of God to be safe and to feed, nourish and respect them with love while they are upon the earth.
In this troubled world, we need to show those who are not mothers and only gave birth, how to repent and become mothers. When we make mistakes, we need to tell our children we are sorry, and then prove we are sorry by doing better.
One example I had of a real mother was back in 1982 in Sunland, California. This good woman allowed me to be mother to her children for a period of time and I learned by watching her and then applying what I learned. I saw how to handle it when a child does something wrong and how to say sorry when I was wrong and the child was right.
There are many mothers in the world. But as I stated earlier, giving birth to a child does not make a woman a mother. My heart goes out to all those who have murdered their unborn children because they were tricked into not knowing abortion is really murder. I know that those sweet spirits forgave those women. I know that those wee ones went right back to the highest degree of the highest heaven. Jesus loves children and so should we all.
To Foster Parents
First, may I thank those foster fathers who do not abuse children nor their wives. You set a good example for the children you care for and help them to learn that not all men are wicked.
Second, may I thank those foster mothers who do try to love these children as they would their own children.
From a former foster child who lived with both good and bad foster parents. As well as a woman who had to place her own child in a foster home and then allow her to be adopted to keep her safe should I die.
I shall keep you are in my prayers each night and my heart each day. Thank you.
Second, may I thank those foster mothers who do try to love these children as they would their own children.
From a former foster child who lived with both good and bad foster parents. As well as a woman who had to place her own child in a foster home and then allow her to be adopted to keep her safe should I die.
I shall keep you are in my prayers each night and my heart each day. Thank you.
How important is a name?
My half-sister, gave me the name Midge when she saw how small I was, and I prefer that name to any other. Mother named me after my father. I was her gift to him. I'm sorry to say she died in April 1949 which grieved my father and he could not bear to look at me. But I do have proof he loved me before she died. I obtained these photographs after he died.
My sister only knew my father, she never knew who her father was. But I have learned truth for her as well. During World War II, many men were shipped out and never knew they had a child. When her father came home and found out, he and my mother married. I just wish I could have shared that information about her family while she was alive. The part of our life she wanted me to share is not what I want the world to know. There is enough of that type of thing, without me adding to it.
My sister and I were reunited after 30 years of me believing she was dead. I was blessed to meet her children and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with them. It was a bittersweet reunion, but a reunion which filled my heart with joy.
In December 1989 I was reunited with my daughter and son for about 30 minutes. They had been taken from my home back in 1965 during the night. They were tiny children when they were kidnapped, and I mourned for many years.
While I still mourn that I was not allowed to love them in person, only in my heart and prayers, when I saw them all grown up, it helped me to heal. I still pray for them each day to have peace and safe love from those whom they love. But it gives me joy to know that they survived and were blessed to stay together.
After my father passed away, I was given photographs of my children as they looked growing up. That has also helped me to heal. I so thank my step-sister for sending them to me. She blessed my life and gave me joy.
These are the only two photographs I have of my little girl before she was kidnapped. I'm sorry to say I have none of my son.
This is my life, such as it was. I hope this does not shock anyone, but the stories contained herein are real. This is not television or some type of fiction book or movie. It was and is my life.
During a burglary I became pregnant. I consider that child was a blessing, plus, it turned a living nightmare into something I could forgive. God blessed me with a gift.
I was only able to keep her for a short time as I contracted cancer and being alone, I did not want her harmed or lied to by those who did not like me. To my thinking, she was an answer to her mother's prayer for a child. Her other mother, that is. It was an honor to ask Father to allow her to live. She was born dead and after a meaningful prayer, a man in white came into the room, inserted tubes down her little body and gave her the breath of life.
When my elder children were kidnapped I had a nervous breakdown and was in a mental hospital for about two years. They removed my memories, as that was the only way they could keep me alive. While that did keep me alive, it also caused many problems in later years.
What could have been a reunion between my children and I, was just me with two children from the park and my new baby. This is the only photograph I have of me with my sweet babies. I did not recognize my own children.
The names I had given my eldest children were from the Holy Bible= Phillip was named after Philip, an Apostle of Jesus Christ (Acts) and Rebecca was named after the Rebekah who married Jacob (Genesis). I wanted to raise my children to know God and the Lord Jesus Christ and walk in ways of goodness. They are of the tribe of Ephraim in the family of Abraham. This is very important for them to learn, however, I could not teach them this. Isaiah spoke of the blessing of Ephraim, but they never knew.
My joy would have been to read to them the stories of their ancestor's and help them to get to personally know Jesus Christ and understand how important they are to God. My sorrow is that I never got to do that.
My joy was that I was blessed to know that my daughter has a daughter of her own, whom I have never met. But when I learned her name, I looked her up and sent her a copy of her pedigree on both sides of her family.
Names are so important in my opinion. When we know who we really are, then we can have examples of how to live. For me, I choose to follow Jesus Christ.
 |
| With a cousin |
 |
| Midge in Ontario |
 |
| The night mother died |
 |
Midge at Hollis's home
|
My sister only knew my father, she never knew who her father was. But I have learned truth for her as well. During World War II, many men were shipped out and never knew they had a child. When her father came home and found out, he and my mother married. I just wish I could have shared that information about her family while she was alive. The part of our life she wanted me to share is not what I want the world to know. There is enough of that type of thing, without me adding to it.
 |
| Midge and Marjorie 1950 |
 |
| Marjorie Inez 1949 |
My sister and I were reunited after 30 years of me believing she was dead. I was blessed to meet her children and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with them. It was a bittersweet reunion, but a reunion which filled my heart with joy.
In December 1989 I was reunited with my daughter and son for about 30 minutes. They had been taken from my home back in 1965 during the night. They were tiny children when they were kidnapped, and I mourned for many years.
While I still mourn that I was not allowed to love them in person, only in my heart and prayers, when I saw them all grown up, it helped me to heal. I still pray for them each day to have peace and safe love from those whom they love. But it gives me joy to know that they survived and were blessed to stay together.
After my father passed away, I was given photographs of my children as they looked growing up. That has also helped me to heal. I so thank my step-sister for sending them to me. She blessed my life and gave me joy.
These are the only two photographs I have of my little girl before she was kidnapped. I'm sorry to say I have none of my son.
 |
| Rebecca Lynn |
 |
| Lil and Rebecca Lynn |
This is my life, such as it was. I hope this does not shock anyone, but the stories contained herein are real. This is not television or some type of fiction book or movie. It was and is my life.
During a burglary I became pregnant. I consider that child was a blessing, plus, it turned a living nightmare into something I could forgive. God blessed me with a gift.
I was only able to keep her for a short time as I contracted cancer and being alone, I did not want her harmed or lied to by those who did not like me. To my thinking, she was an answer to her mother's prayer for a child. Her other mother, that is. It was an honor to ask Father to allow her to live. She was born dead and after a meaningful prayer, a man in white came into the room, inserted tubes down her little body and gave her the breath of life.
 |
| Harriet Inez |
What could have been a reunion between my children and I, was just me with two children from the park and my new baby. This is the only photograph I have of me with my sweet babies. I did not recognize my own children.
 |
| Phillip LeRoy, Maurica, Rebecca Lynn Harriet Inez |
My joy would have been to read to them the stories of their ancestor's and help them to get to personally know Jesus Christ and understand how important they are to God. My sorrow is that I never got to do that.
My joy was that I was blessed to know that my daughter has a daughter of her own, whom I have never met. But when I learned her name, I looked her up and sent her a copy of her pedigree on both sides of her family.
Names are so important in my opinion. When we know who we really are, then we can have examples of how to live. For me, I choose to follow Jesus Christ.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)