I believe that families can be together forever. However, it took me a long time to want to be with my family forever. I never really knew my parents as my mother died in 1949 when I was a very tiny girl.
As a pre-teen for about a year, I lived in an Orphanage called Hollygrove Home for Children and learned that people can be kind and they taught me how powerful kindness is. They helped me learn skills I still use to this day.
After I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints, I saw what a real family looked like. I was very impressed. And then, in about 1984 - I learned what being part of a real family was like.
In this family, each morning, we knelt in prayer, children being voice as well. We prayed for each other and many times I was moved to tears by the way the children expressed faith in each other. Then, everyone went their way, either to work or school or about other chores.
One of the things I learned from their children was flexibility. For example: While the parents were out of the country, I was in charge of the children, all six of them. The main rule I had was, be sure to come straight home after school. I wanted to be sure they were all right.
One day, one of the girls was very late. When she got home I asked why she was so late. I was all ready to ground her, until I heard why. A friend of hers had a father that was abusing her friend verbally and she wanted to stay and comfort the girl after the father left.
That day I remembered how important it is to help another in distress, even if you get in trouble when you get home. Rather like when I was a child and stopped to help a little boy who was being abused. I'm glad that old adage of "when you are abused you become an abuser" is not true. I hugged her and let her know I was proud of her for helping her friend, then we spoke about the situation and we prayed for her friend. In that family, we laughed together, we prayed together, we worked together and we played together. They were and are an eternal family.
While living with another family, I learned about working with a bishop. I had seen something that bothered me, so I went to our bishop and spoke with him about it. He let me know I had a right to be concerned and he stepped in and helped that family. The Relief Society President also came out and helped when another family had problems. It felt good to use the gifts God has given me to be of service to others.
I also learned a good lesson about gossip. Up until that point I did not know that gossip is not just about things not true, it is still gossip when you speak about things that are true as well. I was speaking to another woman and gossiping. Whining, if you will. The woman I was speaking with told me that she would not be able go to the prayer circle with me because I had caused her to have bad feelings about another person. That made me sit up and pay attention. I thanked that woman for helping me to learn such a valuable lesson. Now, when I catch myself gossiping, I ask for help to stop it, right then. Sometimes, I forget, then I remember and repent and try again to not do it any longer.
I am so grateful that I had an opportunity to see that first real family there in Sunland, California. That was the kind of family I want, and I know now that my family is the family of God.
Around the world, everyone is my brother or sister. Every older woman and man are my grandmother or grandfather. Every Bishop or Branch President is my father and mother. Every Prophet is my teacher and leader. I can be good to them to show my respect to the Lord for giving me this gift. All children are like my own nephews and nieces. God has restored me a family a hundred fold.
There is a scripture that says, "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sister, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." Matthew 19:29
God never lies. I do so pray that I may endure well that which I must suffer before I am able to go home to live with my eternal family. I know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can all be saved. And if we will follow the Lord, we will be with our eternal family.
Hollygrove Home for Children closed in 2005, and stopped taking in children prior to that date. Now they focus on placing children in Foster Homes and giving help in a new way.
Hollygrove Home for Children was founded as the Los Angeles Orphans Home Society back in 1880. It was a home for abused or neglected children in the foster care system. At any one time up to 68 children were housed on the campus.
This is how the administration building looked when I lived there. After they shut down the residential part of the services, they tore down this building and put up a new structure. The cottages out back stayed the same, however, they put a sign on the gate showing the name of the home.
When I lived here, there was no sign announcing who we were. They protected us from newspaper people who kept trying to take our pictures. They loved us, and did all they could to help us be safe, learn skills that have blessed us all our lives, as well as how happy people lived. And they succeeded.
I lived in Hollygrove Home for Children in the late 1950's. During the 1980's I went back for some reunions and met with some of the girls with whom I lived with in my old dorm. Even the head mistress had come back for one of them. It was so good to see her again and get her special hug. She was a grand lady and we sat in her old office where she told me that she had always believed in me and had hated sending me out with those who had not been kind to me.
We remained close until she passed away a few years ago. She was a great example of a good Christian woman. While she never had her own birth children, she is beloved and respected by the thousands of us whom she taught what good, clean love is.
The first time I went back I saw they had put locks on the piano and added a pool table. I was told that after I left no one loved the piano as I had. It brought tears to my eyes, as that piano has blessed my life over 50 years.
As you can see, the building in the front was two stories high, with the offices, dinning room, kitchen on the main floor with the classrooms upstairs.
Each cottage out back had 2 dorms with four children to a dorm; a kitchenette; bathroom with several stalls; a shower room and a laundry. In the back of the main administration office was a white hospital infirmary type of building. When we were sick, we slept there so a nurse could watch over us and help us feel safe as well as get us well.
Many times the women from the Studio Club or the Desilu Studio would come and take us to the theater or the movie sets so we could watch them preform. When the Studio had food left over after a movie shoot, they would bring it to us and so we had lots of cake and ice cream and really yummy things to eat. Many times they filmed shows using our cottages as a background. I was able to meet many people who became famous.
I also learned how to play baseball and do crafts while living there. We went to a public swimming pool and I learned how to dance in the water. They called it Aqua-ballet. After we trained for many weeks, we preformed before a large audience at night and had a wonderful time. I felt like a mermaid in bathing suit and cap that were special made just for me, and we all looked the same.
I have used the skills I learned at Hollygrove over the years to brighten my homes and help others do the same. It makes me feel good to do that for people.
Living there I was safe and got to sleep on clean sheets without being tied down. Even though some laughed at me because I was different than others and not very smart in normal things, Miss Ingram helped me feel smart.
She allowed me to read all the books in her office and helped me get a library card. I was learning how to communicate and not be put down or harmed in any serious way. Children who suffered really need this type of love, don't you agree?
At one of the reunions one of my old roommates slipped me a note just before she left. It was an apology for the way she had treated me when we were living there. I wanted to let her know that I did not even remember what she had done. I mean, children teasing and hitting each other is one thing. Being beat by an adult is something different. I loved her and the fact that she felt bad about what she had done, made me love her even more. She was the first person to tell me they were sorry for the way they treated me.
I felt real love while I lived there and after I recognized the difference between real love and fake love, I never wanted to accept anything less again. But it was many years before that became a reality. A very important lesson I learned there was that people can be good no matter what religion or race they have been raised in.
During one of the reunions I was told by several people how much they had hated being there. I personally loved Hollygrove Home for Children. The others had an earlier life much different than the one I had come from. I guess it is all a matter of perspective.
The first amount of Joy I had in my life: was while I lived in an orphanage. I saw for myself that even though I had to go through bad things in my life as a young child, God was still watching over me. He has blessed me most richly as I grow towards Him and help others who are going through similar things.
I share this with you, so you can understand how important it is for all of those who did not have loving homes, that they can be around others who really do understand them and can love them.
Foster homes might be the thing of others, but being able to be around other brothers and sisters who experienced what they did and then be able to have the joy of being blessed with kindness, is so important. I learned this from living in both foster homes and the orphanage.
Being separated from those with whom you lived during your trauma is a trauma all of it's own. And believe me when I share, that these children have had enough trauma to last for a lifetime.
Many of these children helped their fellow children or suffered for as well as with them. I know that God means for families to be together forever. This is all part of the growth of humans to experience trials and tribulations. Thank you for understanding.
I know that those of you who reach out to children of horrific backgrounds can help them recover and be able to go on to lead productive and happy lives.
May God bless you and keep you safe in your labors, is my prayer.
